c'est la vie.

SORRY LANI!

http://mzjowee.blogspot.com

MzJOWEE

“We plan our lives according to a dream that came to us in our childhood, and we find that life alters our plans. And yet, at the end, from a rare height, we also see that our dream was our fate. It's just that providence had other ideas as to how we would get there. Destiny plans a different route, or turns the dream around, as if it were a riddle, and fulfills the dream in ways we couldn't have expected.”

 Anything technology has never really been my forte and aside from knowing how to turn on a computer, download and go unto the internet i could safely say i'm clueless. Yesterday I wanted to do something out of the ordinary ( aside from the regular work-out, 9-5 regime) So I watched Monsters vs. Aliens in 3D.

I'm sure if i was very graphic saavy I would have enjoyed the movie more since it was 3D and all but for some reason all I could think about was why in the hell this movie came out to be $27.00? Though it had it's funny moments especially with Bob ( the blue- jello looking guy) I expected it to be more funnier. Maybe I was comparing it to Monsters, Inc. ( my favorite animated movie of all time)? Oh well, better luck next time

If i failed to mention, I consider myself as a girly girl. yes i'm into makeup, yes i'm into making my hair. After the realization when I was 14 that i look like complete shit in my pictures and how I dress ( I will post a picture soon of how hideous I was) I started dressing up more. Recently I purchased three products all ranging from $18-$30 - btw, I really don't mind spending a lot of money on make-up since it's going on my face anyway.

If your looking for a face primer that will make your skin brighten up and silky smooth AND that will hold your makeup all day, I suggest Benefit "That gal." Even if worn alone, it provides a lot of color and moisture to the skin ( don't forget your daily lotion with some SPF in it.) I tried smashbox primer before, but it made me break out so if you have sensitive skin - this is the product for you

I used to be really into the thick foundations that MAC provides, but ever since i figured out that less is definitely more, I opted for more makeup that has less coverage such as powders from bare escentuals and this "fake it foundation" from Benefit that has really subtle but enough coverage.

Blacktrack Fluidline from MAC will always always be my favorite because it doesn't smudge, the texture is really thick and it provides a hint of drama into your face. It comes with a multitude of colors, but since I like to keep my face simple now I always use Blacktrack. I've been using fluidline for a long time now and I had to buy a new pot because of this :

Jake, Gilb and Dora - you fuckers owe me. Poor Leo! ahahhaha

 and tell me why I have been so obsessed with this lately?

3/4 iced coffee; 1/4 soy milk; 3 splenda's ( for venti); 2 (for grande); 1( for tall)

until next time...

xx

MzJOWEE

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up.”

In regards to the blog that was previously done, out of hatred and demise I began to realize that it's wrong to shut out other's in expense for another person's actions. It was never my intention to come off as someone that doesn't care much for the world anymore, but i wanted to portray that I wasn't someone that can be taken advantage of and in order to do that, I'd have to change my lifestyle. Call it growing pains or growing up, but in order to see a change in life, it starts with you. I realized too that the only person that knows you well enough to know what's good and bad for you is yourself. I've had a relationship with myself for 23 years, and i'm not going to stop listening to myself just because others have a problem with it. ( did i say you and myself too much? okay, good.)

Looking back at it there were many things that I lost and gained ( and will continue to do so) in my road to "growing up." I don't know if I've become wiser, maybe just a little bit more experienced. There were certain things also that I forgot to embrace and replenish. I remember back in the day in college, I paid attention to myself more ( i.e:  dress up for school, do my hair, pick out my clothes stylishly and carefully) so much so that I was voted best dressed in barkada 3x in a row I know it may not be a big deal to some but I truly believe that if you let go of yourself, you let go of everything else. Check this, back then I used to NEVER wear the same thing twice at all - so no one EVER expected to see the same thing from me anytime. NOW, I find myself reverting back to the same clothes, same outfits, same style. and NOW since work has taken most of my days, I wake up at 8:15, wash my face, put whatever clothes on that's lying there and straight to work so i can be there by 8:30. Really? 15 minutes to drive and get ready? Man, i've gone downhill.

3peat - sigh.

I forgot how it was like to be happy when I didn't have so much money. ( not that I have a lot of money now, but you get the picture) I look back at it and I'm still wondering what kept me sane, and what kept me happy. Maybe it's family? Maybe it's reading? Maybe it's just hanging out at starbucks on a random weekday drinking coffee and having long conversations? If you ever feel like reading and rehashing your childhood, and you want to remember what it's like to live.... then read this book:

Into philosophy? from Pre-socratic greeks to Socrates himself - this is the book for you.

WHAT'S FUN? THIS IS FUN:

being with friends. self timer on camera. writings on the face. hitler with a heart. dom star. perry i don't know what the fuck is that. good times.

 I'm going to start rehashing and redefining the way I live. No longer will 9-5 hold me down ( as it is slowly achieving it's goal) I'm going to be more fashion forward. thrift store saavy. Book reader. Poetry reader/listener. coffee conversation intellect. california cities traveller ( and when i save up, world traveller). take more pictures you'll get tired of seeing my face. blogging more. less on the smoking. rekindling old friends. letting go of the unimportant ones. no more of the alcohol. BTW, on one of my bullet points in the previous blog about me not forcing me to drink, it still holds true that I WILL become a rageful bitch if you do force me. OHHH!!! and this....

hello my love, you will be mine in approximately 2 weeks.

until next time...

xx.

“I've been getting rid of some clutter — anything that doesn't serve a positive purpose in my life — and making room for things that feel happy to me. Because I get to make my life whatever I want it to be. I get to make the room feel however I want it to feel. I get to make the closet as full or as spacious as I want it. And, if I have more clutter to get rid of after Christmas, I'm not going to wait a year, or two or three to do it.”

 After the incident that shook me to my very core, I'm making a change. I'm going to erase my past that I don't need, save a little bit that's tucked into my external hard drive... and keep what's really important. At this point I realized that keeping things that's been around for a very long time (even if you thought there was some purpose to it  a long time ago) is never a good thing. There's no need to keep things that mattered to you a long time ago, when they serve no purpose for you now. Just know by reformatting my life, the old person that was once there is no longer present, the vivid and lively colors are now dull and uncompromising. Sometime's change isn't always good... and even though you won't like this change, you'll eventually get used to it because you have to.

so in the sense if you start realizing that:

• I don't want to hang out anymore - it's you not me.
• I don't answer phone calls, texts, or I don't want to talk - it's because you have been reformatted and erased.
• If you ask me to drink and I say NO, DO NOT force me, for I will turn into a rageful bitch.
• If I am a bitch towards you - you WILL get used to it sooner or later.
• If I don't answer to your little patronizing, condescending comments or criticisms it's because I DON'T CARE.
• I will NOT tolerate anything that has to do with ANYTHING from my past - consider me as a clean slate.
• I can and WILL leave you at a drop of a dime if you piss the shit out of me.
• If you don't like who I am NOW, then leave.
  

MzJOWEE

“The real sin against life is to abuse and destroy beauty, even one's own -even more, one's own, for that has been put in our care and we are responsible for its well-being.”

My birthday weekend went exceptionally well. Once again, thank you for everyone who greeted me, who came to anyone of the three shenanigans... i'll be forever grateful. In continuation to my previous blog the Vagina's gave me a surprise dinner at boiling crab ( top 5 of my favorite restaurants - plus it was friday so we couldn't eat meat HAHA)

thanks for dinner!

Special thanks to :

• Vaginas - for setting everything up, helping me with my surprise, paying for my dinner, letting me use the apartment for drunken debauchery
• Leo - for bbqing some awesome food, being there for all 3 birthday shenanigans, and not getting mad when people used and abused your butt crack LOL
• ROOMIES - for cleaning up the stupid mess, tolerating my drunkeness, and for setting everything up

thanks for coming on tuesday to get me fucked up!

Saturday was end all/be all of bbq's, special thanks to those who came NON filipino time, i'm sorry if i looked janky as shit and i was getting ready with you guys already there =/ aahahah! I was drinking so much at a certain point I blacked out and I don't remember anything after that. I'm going to keep what I heard about that night under wraps, we'll leave everything to the imagination.

Currently I am very agitated, distraught and in disbelief.  My mind is currently not functioning correctly and I need to get away. For those of you who know of the events that happened, part of me wants to shoot him, part of me wants to just run away. I realized that you never really know who your friends are, no matter how long you've known them... and you can never be comfortable in trusting anyone but yourself. You can be friends with someone 8 or 9 years, but one event can make your blurred mind turn 180 and finally, you can see that person for who they really are OR who they came to be. I'm sorry that I had to to find this out so late in the "friendship." I'm sorry that I'm sorry that I'm not bitter or angry towards you. I'm sorry that my actions have caused you to have a negative opinion about me. I'm sorry that i'm not sorry, for never looking at you the same way ever again.

until next time...

xx.