c'est la vie.

MzJOWEE

 "If they chose to walk away from you, they never deserved to walk beside you."

Lately it's been hard to write entries that truly explains how I feel, or how I am as a person; so i succumb to the general idea of just writing to you guys of how my days are. It's very rare for me to get into the moment of actually expressing how i feel, because it makes me feel weak and feeling weak has always been my worst nightmare. When I foreshadow something that can happen to me and can be a potential threat to how I live my life... I walk away. When in an instance, I don't feel something is up to par, I walk away. When I feel that there's a moment where i'm starting to fall deeply, utterly, and madly for someone else, I catch myself, close it off and throw away the key. When I write, I talk about how I feel -- but never in the depth of what really lies beneath. When I feel angry, I put a smile on my face, and go along the day as I should be. And when I cry, I cry in the shower so just for a moment, I can believe that my tears aren't real... it's just an illusion with the water trinkling on me.

My life, as I know it has always been in control. The events that has happened to me was because I arranged it, I forecasted it, I molded it. What do you do when you realize that there is something that throws your life off balance, off key? What if for a certain period of time, your so sure that you have everything in the right order, the way it should be, the way it's supposed to be until you realize everything is out of order, pure chaos and out of your boundaries? do you submit to the unknown? or just walk away?

I guess for right now,  I'm going to do what i know is best -- walk away.

until next time...

"You try to be strong but the pain keeps holdin' on
And all that you can do is cry
Deep within your heart you know it's time to move on
When the fairy tale that you once knew is gone"

xx.

MzJOWEE

“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.”

Another day has gone by, and another beautiful sunrise and breathtaking sunset  has disappeared into the horizon. When was the last time you stopped, took a breath and allowed yourself to be enamored by the beauty of pure existence? I believe that us as human beings all strive to stay alive for one purpose and one purpose only: ourselves. Whether it's to become rich, educated, find a good lover, travel the world or get drunk ass out of your mind, when was the last time you tried enjoying your life instead of chasing everything only to regret that you feel like you've accomplished SO MANY goals but still haven't experienced any of it?

There's a big difference in experiencing and accomplishing and I believe that one can only find happiness if both are attained hand in hand. I, for one am guilty of not being able to experience some of the pleasures that life has given to me because I was too motivated, too driven and too focused to just stop, and smell the flowers.

we learn. we change. we grow.

until next time...

when will you see the colors?

xx.

MzJOWEE

Even though it may seem brash, condescending, wrong, immature and relentless to even say this I need to get my frustration out and my blog is the only place where I can write... so if you think this is for YOU, then it probably is.

you seriously are a work of art. The reason why people dislike you so much and why you don't want to associate yourself with any of us anymore is your own goddamned fault. You brought all this shit to yourself because you fucking talk to much, you fucking gossip too much, you say too much shit, you promise things and you never back it up. For the 4 years i've known you, there were A LOT of good times, but there is always an end to that. People don't want to get in the middle of it because we used to be the "sophomore's," to the "junior's," to the "senior's" but now I really don't give a fuck. If I was ever to become in your presence it disgusts me. Even hearing your voice makes me hurl. EVEN HEARING ABOUT YOU makes me want to shoot myself. That's how much I dislike you. Whoever may have written that blog about you is FUCKED UP for even doing that but the only reason why it was fucked up was because they didn't tell you who the hell they are... so here I am telling YOU who the fuck I am and how I feel. I seriously tried mending it, calling you, texting you... but you never responded. So cheer's you asshole, you brought this shit on your own.. and if your not suffering right now you will be, because you WILL NEVER NEVER find friends like us again.

ON TO THE MORE IMPORTANT PART,  It is very exciting news to hear that Obama has won, because it is definitely a positive change for America. I was watching the news earlier, it is not looking good for Proposition 8, and I really don't understand why there is even an issue here. Even though there may be religious sects that think marriage is only for a man and woman, it doesn't mean that everyone feels that way, and they shouldn't be so selfish and ignorant enough to think that. Taking my religious views out on the open, I just always believe that God will always have a plan for us. Either we are man or woman, we were all created the same way, with the same love, with the same brilliance. It is the PEOPLE's ( not man and women seperately) rights ( Not ONLY to America but to God as well) to love whomever they want. Because I feel love, whether platonic, romance or not, is inescapable. Such as how men and woman can look the other way, even though you try so hard to stay as straight as an arrow, you will always be who you are and you shouldn't have to apologize for it. (my 2 cents)

This coming Saturday, Pilipino-American's of all ages will once again have the JFAV rally to promote their concerns about the inequality that America has given to the Pilipino's when they fought along side them in WWII. Though it may not seem like it, I'm really passionate about the issues that pertain to the Philippines. I don't consider myself as even being NEAR in activist standards, but I do care about it. The bill that theyre trying to pass is H.R. 6897 ( to authorize the Secretary of Veteran Affairs to make certain payments to eligible persons who served in the Philippines during WWII). It was such a great accomplishment that the bill passed in the House of Representatives on September 23, 2008 and is now forwarded on to the Senate. Don't quote me on this, and I'm not too sure if this is exactly what happened ( if anyone can verify with me if it's true), I once read that Bush was against the passing of the bill because he wanted to focus all efforts into putting money into the war in Iraq instead of taking care of the veterans. Though it may seem like the Pilipino's efforts are barely getting recognized, every step we take is one leap closer to equality.

Maybe the victory of Obama can open the eyes of the current struggle that Philippines itself is suffering today. Pilipino's feel inequality everywhere in the world... even in our own "home." With all the issues that pertain to Macapagal, and even ERAP with his fallacies, there's no wonder why the motherland can not bounce back from the hypocrisy that the government has bestowed upon them. The Philippines was declared independant on July 4, 1946 and like America, they promote democracy. Democracy may be what they uphold, but never in my lifetime can I say that there was democracy in the Philippines to begin with. If there were people who opposed the goverment they were either imprisoned or killed. If they were to protest on the streets, police will have no problem murdering them. Proclamation 1081 or what you know as Martial Law was declared by former President Marcos, and at the rate the Philippines is going right now with their corrupt government, Martial Law is coming AGAIN sooner than later.

when is our struggle going to end?

some key facts:

Proposition 8:

Proposition 8 is an initiative state constitutional amendment on the 2008 California General Election ballot, titled Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry.^[1][2] If passed, the proposition would "change the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California."^[3] A new section would be added stating "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."^{[3] -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_Proposition_8_(2008)}

H.R. 6897:

to authorize the Secretary of Veteran Affairs to make certain payments to eligible persons who served in the Philippines during WWII -- http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h110-6897

ERAP:

On September 12, 2007, he became the first Philippine President to be convicted of a crime after the Sandiganbayan found him guilty of plunder, which is punishable by reclusion perpetua.^[2] He was detained in his Tanay, Rizal resthouse but then pardoned by President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo on October 25, 2007.^{[3] -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Estrada}

Martial Law:

On September 21, 1972, Marcos issued Proclamation 1081, declaring martial law over the entire country. Under the president's command, the military arrested opposition figures, including Benigno Aquino, journalists, student and labor activists, and criminal elements. A total of about 30,000 detainees were kept at military compounds run by the army and the Philippine Constabulary. -- http://countrystudies.us/philippines/28.htm

Until next time...

when will our future fix our past?

xx.

MzJOWEE

it's been a long time so...

DEAR JESYLEE : damn cousin, I'm glad that things are going well for you especially when it comes to school. Quarter system goes by really quick and you can either hate it or love it. If you have the attention span of a fucking ant ( quoting you again) then it's all about the quarter system. just like boys - get it, got it, be done with it. HAHAHHAHA! JK!

DEAR JENNA : I guess my previous blog has stirred up some ill feelings from the past, but write on girl. There's just so many people that you can't trust in this whole damned world, even family can fuck you up in one way... the beauty of it is that you went through all this bullshit but you learned from it, and now your smarter than ever. There's nothing wrong with being a "loner" if you feel like you don't want to deal with bullshit, then by all means don't do it. But there ARE a lot of fucked up people in this world, and whoever is your friend/lover/cousin right now they should be happy to be around  you.

"Don't worry about the people in your past... There's a reason why they didn't make it into your future."

I guess my "hate" blog from yesterday brought up some ill feelings with some of the cousins hahahah. It's okay to vent out your frustrations, but there's a problem when you dwell on it... so since we're older now, "life's too fast to sweat the small shit."

aggggggggggghhh,

103008: Pre - Halloween Shenanigans, Pasadena part II. That night Christian, Me, Ana & Joy went to Barney's AGAIN to enjoy a couple beers. On the way to the parking area there was this chick that was trying to look like Britney Spears with her school girl outfit but damn... it wasn't happening at all ahahhaha. Got there and sweet Henry saved us a seat, The girls + Christian met him, Sergio, and their friend Alex. It was especially SPECIAL this night because it's very rare to see our WHOLE group fucked up like nobody's business. YOU KNOW when Joy's fucked up, that's when EVERYONE's fucked up. I must have gotten paid that night because I was dropping money like there's no tomorrow, but hey... you work hard to play harder right? I was definitely playing harder... HAHAHHA. We ended the night at like 3AM, our earlier plans were to go to Wockano but we were all TOO FUCKED UP to even walk hahahaha.

103108: HALLOWEEENN. So the girls plus Leo and Greg decided to play at West Hollywood. We didn't actually end up getting there till about 10:30 because we had to take care of soooooooooo many things first. The car ride with the girls was so much fun! "wood chippers," "yes po, opo" "are ju goen to knots berry parm" " sex monkey noises" "doing it dirty style" "you can arrest me anytime" " silver crayon" " gnome" HAHAHAHHAHA. good times. West Hollywood was an awesome experience except for the fact that I felt violated x 10 that night. We were walking aruond and all of a sudden some dude just SLAPS my ass and GRABS it! WTFFFF! when I turned around he was gone but some group behind me had their mouth's open saying " wtf?!!" it was definitely WTF moment. We all decided to rest at a restaurant, and I think the owner ( or maybe it wasn't ) hooked me up with three tecate beers. If you saw me from thursday, Beer was not in my agenda that night so I didn't even drink ANY of it. After that we went to Roscoe's and headed home around 4. gooooood times

110108: Floridians arrival / D&B's / Bishamon. I was so happy to see my grandpa back and i got my LUCY BACK! AGHHHHHHHHHHH my car is fucking beautiful! it looks brand new, the paint is AWESOME and i was just so happy to fill my tank with only 30 bucks. aghhhhh sweet life. After visiting my grandpa, Ana and I went to D&B's to bid Erik goodbye, met up with Leo & Gilb to head to Bishamon. My God, I was trying soooooooooo hard to be sober that night but it was especially hard when theyre trying to shove saki bombs/crown royal/soju/beer in my face. The three drunkards finished the crown and had like 8 shots of saki bombs... Ana & Leo were sooooooooo drunk they started puking at denny's ( ON the TABLE, around the floor, in the bathroom) this night was a complete MESS. hahahaaha. Haven't seen them THIS drunk in a while so it was good times.

110208: This weekend killed me. LITERALLY. I was so glad to just be able to function properly WITHOUT alcohol. After a long day of just munching on some awesome Filipino food. Ana & I ended up watching Filipino movies at Paulo's. Ended up coming home at 9:00 and Ana went on her first date in 5 years. ayiiyiyiyiiyi caramba! HAHAHAA.

110308: Work. Worked Out. Dinner at Hooters with Geoff, Fallon and Ana. chit chatted, tsismis'd. good times.

110408: Work. Worked Out. Met up with Jared ( so he can talk about his shenanigans) at Buffalo Wild Wings. loooooooooveeeee that place!.

110508: Work. Took Rambo out for a walk around Cal Poly. Stupid dog ran into the fountain and got himself wet. hahahahahah!. Cooked, BBQed. awesome, good times

 Today!: Pasadena DRUNK FEST III. we'll see how this night ends hahahahaha

Until next time...

just because i miss the drunkeness at the beach

xx.

MzJOWEE

NOTE: PICTURES FROM PASADENA PART III & BISHAMON ARE IN GALLERY

damn, I didn't get drunk last night yet I still feel like I have a damn hang over. I've been doing this TKB thing lately and it's been taking away all my built up aggression. =)

update later. need. water. now.

going on 9 years and he's still a bitch to me =(

xx.

MzJOWEE

“I don't wait for moods. You accomplish nothing if you do that. Your mind must know it has got to get down to work.”

So i don't know if I have updated many of the diva's but lately i've been getting on the ball with my fitness regime. This past week i've worked out 5 days in a row, and even though i'm tired I just have to get used to it. I still need to find that balance with the whole carbs thing because i've eaten a cumulative of 1/2 cup of rice this whole week and i'm trying to refrain from ANYTHING that has carbs in it. Not eating carbs is making me feel EXTREMELY EXTREMELY tired, but the affect it has given me in terms of my body is making me happy LOL my jeans/pants are looser, my not-too-obvious but VERY annoying double chin is going away and I feel like my face is getting smaller. =) This all in a week top's and I FINALLY have the will power so i'm going to keep going until I reach my ideal look. =) I don't think i've ever been this committed before with anything, so since I have a lot of time now to focus on myself, hopefully i'll manage my goal by the end of this year. *CROSSES FINGERS* hahahaa. it's going to be horrible especially since it's thanksgiving, christmas AND new years, not to mention my almost-going-to-be-admitted-into-AA drinking habits. AGGGGHHHHH wish me luck!

GAHHHHH i'm so excited, I'm only 5 days away from the sweet taste of FREEDOM =) no more parents telling me what to do, when to go home, who I can have over. I have my own sanctuary, and a couple of great gals to share it with =). This is a pretty big stepping stone for me because I was never given the chance to experience the independant life. I stayed home for 22 years and now i'm freakin' breaking out of it. WOOOT! We're still not sure how we're going to call ourselves maybe the "VAD" since it's the Vagina's Pad. HAHAH, we'll see.  It's even better that 24 is walking distance from the apartment, so more exercise for me without wasting gas. I am going to miss seeing/hearing my sister running around the house, but that's why i'm stocking up on sponge bob square pants DVD's so when she comes over she'll have something to watch. We're bringing Rambo into the apartment, i swear to God I feel like he's going to pee EVERYWHERE because of the different scenery. hahaha! I love that stupid, can't-walk-or-run straight-at-all-dog.

This weekend was pretty chillaxed, except for friday that is. Me and the Soul Sistas went to Yardhouse to chill, and while we were at the bar, some old married guy was hitting on me... YES it was very very VERY awkward. never again. I got terribly buzzed, and around 10:30 the girls had to leave but I decided to pick up Ana from the train even when I was in my drunken state. While I was driving on the streets, there was a CHECKPOINT and I swear to God my life flashed before my eyes. hahahaha, they let me go but NEVER AGAIN am I doing that. agh, stupid jowee. After I picked up Ana, we went back to yardhouse to meet the old couple then ended our night around 1. Saturday was the JFAV march with Barkada, then My cousin's birthday then a movie. good times . Sunday was spent lopping around Ana's apartment, cooked breakfast and dinner, sanded the cabinets for the apartment and chillaxed the whole day. This weekend was awesome .

since jenna put up her calendar, here's mine: =)

NOVEMBER:

• 111008 : BJ's: RODNEY's Bday
• 111108: DTF
• 111308: PASADENA IV
• 111408: DNB's @ Santa Anita
  
• 111508: MOVE - IN WOOOT! / Regine's Dinner/ Ading's Birthday
• 112008: PASADENA V - man, how long is this going to keep up? =)
  
• 112108: Ana's 25th Birthday/ Paulo's 23rd Birthday
  
• 112208-112308: VEGAS
• 112608: VAD Thanksgiving Dinner
  
• 112808: Janine's Debut / JP's 20th Birthday
  
• 112908: Wiltern for The Human Abstract / Jared's 23rd Birthday

DECEMBER

• 120308: Mom's 46th Birthday
• 120608: Miranda's 17th Birthday
• 120608 -120808: VEGAS / PACQUIAO fight
  
• 121008: Jenna's 23rd Birthday
  
• 121908 - 122108 : BIG BEAR
  
• 122508 : Christmas! Christmas @ Vad
• 122708: Joy's 23rd Birthday ( MOO HA HA)
• 122808: Heather's 22nd Birthday
  
• 123108: VAD new years party

JANUARY

• 120108 - 120408: VEGAS

until next time...

hahaha, from our drunken third week in pasadena.

[me, michaele and bobby acting stupid.]

xx.

MzJOWEE

before I leave work I just wanted to say...

I JUST GOT A PHATTY

RAISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

xx.

MzJOWEE

 [NOTE: PICTURES FROM YARDHOUSE/RODNEY'S BIRTHDAY/DTF POSTED ON GALLERY ]

“There is no spectacle on earth more appealing than that of a beautiful woman in the act of cooking dinner for someone she loves.”

tick tock. tick tock. when is it going to be SATURDAY already?! Lately i've been trying to cook up a storm at Ana's apartment so I can just get used to cooking at our new place. =) I've always been interested in cooking, I know the recipe for vast amounts of Filipino foods, but just like a lazy bum I pass on it and make someone else cook ( I.E. JOY & LEO) hahahahhh. When I was visiting the Philippines with my mom I was able to help her out with the cooking and I gotta say there is NOTHING, no restaurant, or fine dining, or high class dinner that will ever compare to my mom's cooking.  =) While i've mastered the likes of sinigang, adobo, beef steak, tinola, pancit etc etc., I still want to try to cook other foods from various culture's. This is why I'm going to make it a goal for myself to cook at least one filipino dish AND another culture's food per week. (once we move in to the apartment). It saves a lot of money just by cooking at home and at least you know what kind of ingrediants go into your food. Up next, when I'm done with the whole no sweets/carbs routine, I'm going to TRY to make bomb ass dessert. DAMN, i'm on the way to Filipina Martha Stewart Hood! HAHAHA! Whie I'm doing this cooking thing, I know it's going to be hard but I need test subjects, so whoever wants to come over, prepare to die... DIE because of AWESOME FOOD! hahahaha JK!

Goddamnit, I've recently come across a fitness class that is currently kicking my ass tenfold. There's this class called everlast shadow box in 24, and basically the gist of it is to prepare you for a boxing match. You would think you'd do a few punches and a kick here in there but NO, they make you do sit ups, crunches, 100 jumping jacks, punches ( depending how intense you go, that's how you lose more calories) lunges, jabs, hooks, and all of that other intense shit. My body is currently aching, I skipped on the gym yesterday because I was literally about to die. The intense cardio is doing wonders for me, I feel a little bit stronger and more toned, AND with this whole workout/ lose weight thing -- i've lessened my alcohol intake... aren't you PROUD of me! hahaha

BTW, while I was at the bar last night with a few friends, there were these two drunk ass slutty looking chicks ( ASIAN & BLONDE ) grinding each other on the dance floor ( dirty grinding, on the floor and in the cooch) and of course by them doing that got a lot of attention with the guys. It got me to thinking, why must bitches nowadays exploit themselves to get attention? what happened to the always be classy never be trashy ordeal? and why do guys ALWAYS ALWAYS frolick to that kind of scene? GOD I will never understand sexual politics.

blah blah blah I keep blabbing. It's almost the time of the year, the time to make resolutions and not keep it... what will be yours this year?!?!

until next time...

what a hott bunch

[me, roomeh, and jared - DTF, Florentines]

"Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see
This is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees
These foolish games are tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart"

- Foolish Games, Jewel.

xx.

MzJOWEE

I'm beginning to think that I get bored too easily when it comes to my lifestyle, what I want, my goals, especially relationships. At first I get exhilirated,  in too deep, extremely infatuated... then before you know it, im bored. why is that? I guess that just comes with the territory of being an Aries... hhaha! the Vagina's we're looking at our horoscopes a couple of days ago, here's the definition of an Aries:

"Aries people are intelligent and always ready for a challenge, however some can be easily bored. Some Aries can seem to carry a sense of loneliness about them even though they may project outwardly that they are the life of the party. Aries people can be very romantic and intense in their relationships. Red is the color associated with Aries and it is quite characteristic of those with strong Aries in their chart to like bright, fire-engine red. Keywords for the Aries personality are headfirst, enthusiasm, curiosity, and pioneering."

ARIES IN LOVE:

The Aries female is impulsive, independent, busy and courageous. She constantly strives to be the head of her social set and is always a very active woman, both mentally and physically. She is inclined to accept a long-term proposal at the drop of a hat and then repent the decision during her moments of leisure...of which she often has few. Indeed, if any woman can get along without a mate, then it would be the Aries female. She is able to do everything for herself, making it difficult for her to find the strong partner she needs for romance.

An Aries female will only be happy with a mate who makes her proud. A steady hand must be exerted over her shortcomings, but only in private...authority must never be exhibited to the outside world. This is a masterful woman who will be too much of a whirlwind in the home for any soul who is basically quiet and passive. While she is capable of much generosity, she can easily become loud, self-opinionated and rather shrewish. However, it is perhaps jealousy which is the major stumbling block in terms of the Aries woman's relationships. It is the one which has probably brought her more heartaches and unhappiness than any faults she might possess.

Blessed with an abundance of willpower, this woman has the ability to control any emotion should she choose to do so. However, she is by nature exceedingly stubborn, irritable and impatient when placed under any form of restraint. Often deeply involved in her personal career, the Aries female is nonetheless extremely capable of manging a career, home and family with simultaneous success. This is a woman who tends to get what she wants, one way or another, and she is usually attracted to a mate who behaves in a dominant and forceful manner. Indeed, any show of insecurity is a definite "turn-off" for the Aries woman.

She is happiest with a passionate and possessive partner...one who is determined to make a presence in the world. Should this woman become involved with a weaker character, then she will find that unhappiness will eventually overtake her, for she cannot abide others to succeed where her chosen partner fails. This can result in a grumbling and ungracious female who is apt to constantly find fault. However, if she is partnered with the right mate, then she will be totally fulfilled and remain faithful for life. For a relationship to last, it will be necessary for any mate to verbally appreciate every effort this woman makes to aid in her partner's success and to compliment her for such efforts. The Aries female likes to be taken where she can be seen. She also loves to meet new and interesting people. Thus, any potential mate will need to achieve as much prestige in life as is possible. However, it is important to note that this is not a woman who wants to be spoiled. She enjoys a challenge and will relish in backing her partner all the way.

 damn, took the words right out of my mouth.

until next time...

PS: Interested in your sign? CLICK HERE

xx.

 1 MORE DAY UNTIL...

V's APARTMENT

BITCHES!!!!!!! =)

sexy ass roomeh's baby!

sorry Joy, had to cut you off but you know we <3 you.

xx.

MzJOWEE

NOTE : Pictures from Regine's 23rd birthday at the VApt's posted in Gallery

I'm not in love right now but this is an awesome quote:

" You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."   - Dr. Seuss

I'M FINALLY MOVED IN!!! God it's so awesome that i'm not living at home anymore and even though I miss my family and hearing my sister run around everyday, I'm so happy I took this big step into adulthood. =) On Friday I took off early from work to do some errands with Ana. We went to Lowe's to buy paint for our cube and TV stand, and went straight to sanding and painting at Ana's old apartment. There were so many parties/ get together's going on Friday  night, but I was waaaaaayy to focused in getting the painting done but even then we didn't have time because the cube isn't even half done yet! Went home around 1 so I can start packing and let me tell you, I DID NOT realize how much crap I have. My closet is small and my clothes fit, but every hanger I have 5-6 dresses on it. I had to throw away 5 duffel bags worth of clothes because it wouldn't fit into the new apartment. It took me about 2-3 hours to pack all my shit, went to sleep and woke up at 6:45 AM saturday morning.

It was a bitch trying to get everything together but I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who helped us out : Jarhead, JP, Perry and Eddie ESPECIALLY Fallon, Greg and Leo. We were finally able to get situated and all the packing was done around 1:30. The Soul Sistas had planned on having a little get together at the apartment for Regine's Birthday so Jam came to the apartment really early bringing Kaitlyn while the Vagina's had to do some errands. By the time we got back, we already had 3 PEOPLE drunk at our apartment. As a thank you we all bought beer for the guys so as their "your welcome" the assholes shotgunned beer in the tub. HAHAHA. Around 5, all the Vagina's left to do some more packing while the Soul Sistas cooked up a storm. We made pot roast and mash potatoes along with some cut up veggies. That dinner was SO BOMB. Now I can add pot roast to my list of dinners I can make

Yesterday all the Vagina's did was do A LOT of errands, and I ended up spending around $450 alone on just everything from utensils, to bedroom/bathroom essentials, to groceries. (WE HAVEN'T EVEN GONE TO COSTCO YET!) At night everyone felt like making dinner so the girls made some eggplant parmegiana ( ANOTHER to add on to the list! ) while Leo, Greg and Russ were helping us out with the wireless and my cabinet ( THANKS GUYS! ) Anne and Ana kept making fun of my stupid rice ( inside joke - you jackasses!). I can definitely get used to this awesome lifestyle. I LOVE MY ROOMMATES!

I am currently at work right now and I am deathly tired. I'm still not fully finished with packing, I left all my heels and bags at home. I haven't worked out since thursday and I feel very groggy and lifeless. My calves and shoulders are KILLING me, I think it's because of the heavy lifting.  There's so many things to do with so little time! The fires here in SoCal is really crazy, a lot of people I know had to evacuate their homes, hopefully none of their places we're burned. BTW, vegas for this weekend is CANCELLED due to insufficient funds LOL but we are most definitely having something for Ana's 25th birthday, either an Apartment warming or going-out-to-get-drunk-as-hell dinner.

WOO this entry was long! I miss you guys, I wish you were here to visit me =) [ only speaking on behalf of Lani and Kels because ALL THE OTHER DIVAS can visit -- your just TOO lazy! HAHA)

until next time...

Kaitlyn & I at the VApt's

PS: THANK YOU THANK YOU to LEO for helping me out with EVERYTHING

xx.

MzJOWEE

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”

- Dr. Seuss

I am currently at work and in dire need of some sleep. My bed has turned into a safe haven since I added so many down comforters, a memory foam and warm fleece blankets.The roomies had their first financial meeting last night and I couldn't believe how expensive it is to buy essentials for the apartment! There are so many things that you have to consider but i'm pretty glad this is happening because i'm learning how to seriously budget.

Since Vegas was cancelled for Ana's Birthday, it doesn't mean that were not going to party hardy down here. Paulo and Ana are finally doing a collab so tomorrow night we're going to Universal City Walk and party the night away at Saddle Ranch. I've been there a couple times before and it's always been a good experience. The main attraction at Saddle Ranch is the mechanical bull and its funny to see a bunch of drunk girls/guys ride that thing. People find it sexually erotic, especially when it's a chick with big breasts hahah. I remember riding a mechanical bull once at the fair ( before I knew people took it as something daring/entertaining/slutty) and actually had a pretty good time on it. I stayed there for the longest time so the tech guy had to seriously put the bull in full speed HAHAA. Riding the bull reminded me of that one time when the Divas were at the block and Lani wanted to ride it but it took her 20 MINUTES just to get on. HAHAHAHAHHH good times, you had to be there

The girls are trying to find a good day to have a housewarming party but we're pretty hesitant in having ANYONE over because the people we know get drunk crazy so we don't want random puke in our kitchen/bathroom/closet/washing machine. yuck. That would be funny if we just do a virtual housewarming party so no one would have to come in HAHAHA. ( but we WANT & NEED presents though!)

I feel so wierd because I haven't had alcohol in the past two weeks -- this is something I really need to get used to LOL. I've been wanting to play poker so I can learn how to hustle more, wanting to play pool because I haven't in a quick minute, wanting to go out of town to do some wine tasting, wanting to go BOWLING and wanting to play beer pong because i'm in desperate need of chugging some heff. HAHAH. I really need to exorcise my party self, but yet i'm still not ready to be a full grown up. oh well, you live life once right?!

until next time...

i miss you.

xx.

MzJOWEE

Hoy mga pare, inuman na tayo

MzJOWEE

i'm seriously suffering from a bad hangover -- i don't know if it's a hangover or if i'm still drunk, so while i recuperate with some ice cold water check out Ana and Paulo's Birthday @ Saddle Ranch pics posted in the Gallery. =)

MzJOWEE

"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."

Not much to say about this weekend, except that it had its Highs, Ok's, Low's and Very Low points. On Thursday we celebrated for Ana & Paulo's birthday -- good times, enough said. I haven't been that trashed in a while, so it was nice to let loose for a little bit. On Friday we threw a surprise birthday party, bbq'ed, cooked, baked and played poker. I spent the whole day saturday doing laundry at the parentals, and cleaning up my closet . Instead of having 6 dresses per hanger, it's all organized and neat! I can't believe I had to use over 70 hangers JUST for dresses... UGHk! After all that organizing the V's we're either going to go to : LA, Pomona, or West Covina. We were all pretty fuckin' lazy, but Heather was at Crazy Horse so I forced Ana to go with me hahaa. CRAZY HORSE = NO BUENOOOOOOOOO. I FUCKING HATE THAT PLACE. HATE HATE HATE! -- that's all i'm going to say. Sunday morning/ afternoon was pretty awful for me, i'm not going to go into details but let's just hope everything will be better. To get away from the animosity I hung out with Imee to keep myself sane, we went to get some sushi around the area and went to starbucks after.

What may seem like countless hours, Imee and I were able to bond tenfold. Even more so than how we were before. I can relate to Imee for many reasons, most especially with how the way we live our lives. We're both pretty independant, we like to live our lives that way we want them to, and if anyone was to get in the way of our "plans" then we would throw up the "FUCK YOU" sign, and send them home crying. I was admitting to Imee that even though i'm living by myself (with awesome roommates) and doing my own thing, my life has been becoming more and more repetitive, and i'm starting to get lonely. There's a void in me that I don't know what the hell, but it's becoming intensified. All the while i'm trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me she says :  there's a certain stage in your life when you realize you want someone to come home to. After she says that i'm basically flabbergasted, because it makes sense but at the same time, do I really need someone to fill in that void?

Then comes her story, i'm not going into any details about it but basically we're the same. we're scared. Scared of commitment, scared of being with one person because it could be inevitably be the death of us, scared of getting hurt, being trampled on, being lied and cheated on. Both of us we're never cheated on before ( from what we know) but this fear of "unknown" leads us to become reserved and timid. When Imee was talking to me about her problems, I gave her some advice but now I realize that I should take my own advice. I told her :  you can be scared all you want, but you'll never know what happens until you take that chance. and then after that I said:  he's already giving you 90%, all you have to do is give the 10.

where is my 90%?

until next time...

the oozing sexiness at Saddle Ranch.

xx.

MzJOWEE

I am currently in my apartment looking at halloween costumes with the roomies.

congratufuckinglations, you just lost me.

xx.

MzJOWEE

"Advice is what you look for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't."

All yesterday night we were looking for Rambo, still no sign of him . After that the roomies enjoyed an evening alone watching Big Bang, How I met your mother and Heroes. While we were online looking at halloween costumes ( ask me, I don't know why) I was surfing around the internet and I witnessed something that ripped me apart. After that incident, I was in desperate need of some sleep -- just so the pain can go away. While I was lying in bed, Ana came in and asked me if I wanted to talk and even though I said I was fine, she sensed that I needed to vent so she came in and we chatted for the longest time. I enjoyed our girl talk, too bad Anne wasn't there but she was with her boyfriend and i'm sure she doesn't have any boy issues right now LOL.

There are things in our lives that we're scared to admit, either because of the idea of failure or resentment. For the longest time I was scared to confess how much certain people and issues bugged me, and even though it was clawing on my skin, I put my game face on and put it in the back of my mind. There's only so much you can handle by not being true to yourself, and last night was my boiling point. I thought this was something I can handle because if you don't try it will get you nowhere right? Last night I realized it's worth it to try but always make sure the person that your trying for is worth it. 

I'm in a state of abyss and I'm just so irate with myself that I let things get this way. You can always blame the other person for your state of agony, but in reality the only person you can blame is yourself. YOU let this happen, YOU let them in, YOU let them take over you. 

Each one of us will experience a time in our lives where we encounter a poison. At first you think it's good for you, it manifests you, it completes you. Then all of a sudden, you find yourself always changing and adapting -- you don't know why, you just are. After that, you soon realize and you ask yourself: "HOW THE FUCK did I get to this point?" Upon grasping that question you try to pick up the pieces that you have left, gather your thoughts and NOW your faced with two different path's: The path where you keep yourself in the darkness because you think that maybe somehow, sometime, things will get better and you will have everything that you wanted with A LITTLE BIT of sacrifice. OR you can take the road less traveled, where you pick up your pieces, leave and get rid of the poison.

Ladies (and to whoever else reads this), due to the fact that I still believe in myself, I still know what's best for me, I still know I deserve EVERYTHING that I want/need and I will not accept myself to settle, I end it with this:  I just got rid of my poison. So to you, congratuFUCKINGlations, you just lost me.

until next time...

xx.